LEAD LIVE: Live conversations for ministry leaders, by ministry leaders!

Church hurt in ministry is a real thing. Ministry leaders who are dealing with past and present wounding can be difficult and lonely places. In this episode Josh and Clint are talking with Zach Meerkreebs, Pastor of Outreach at First Alliance Church in Lexington, KY, about how to heal when you have been hurt in ministry!

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This episode first aired on Facebook LIVE, Periscope, and YouTube LIVE June 15, 2020.

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Show Notes:

  • 3:00- Intro Zach
  • 4:37- Zach’s story of hurt
  • 10:35- When you pour into upcoming leaders, there is a chance you’ll be hurt in that process
  • 12:05- How has God helped bind up your wounds in your past?
  • 12:57- “We have to create settings to promote healing for our people”
  • 14:40- Self-awareness is a significant part of the healing process
  • 15:50- “If you are hurting, and you don’t want the hurt to be wasted, we have to ask the question, have you actually talked to Jesus about this? Have you allowed him to order your thoughts, order your emotions, regarding the situation?”
  • 17:05- Sitting in your hurt vs. Wallowing in your hurt
  • 17:41- The power of community
  • 18:38- The importance of Sabbath
  • 20:22- “You can either spend the time now, dealing with your stuff, or you’ll probably spend a lot more time later, and it’ll probably cost some money for a counselor.”
  • 24:42- “Does ministry ever get to be more fun?” “It doesn’t get more fun, but you get so much closer to Jesus.”
  • 25:15- “The more you get into ministry, the more you realize that it has to be for only one person, and that is Jesus.”
  • 26:00- Galatians 2:20 Story
  • 30:48- “It doesn’t get easier, the weights just get heavier…when you let the Lord shape you through hurt, the minnow bites don’t hurt as much, and the kind of hurt you experience changes.”
  • 32:22- What are steps towards healing you have taken?
  • 33:51- “Oftentimes, when we get hurt, we begin to take ourselves more seriously than we need to.”
  • 34:15- “A lot of my healing has been asking the Lord to keep me foolish and childlike, to stay as an empty vessel that the Lord can fill up.”
  • 34:49- “A lot of healing comes from trying to close the loop on hurtful experiences.”
  • 35:45- Ask the Lord what kind of things he wants you to hand over to him
  • 36:44- What are you holding onto that you don’t want to give up?
  • 37:33- The importance of Sabbath to healing
  • 38:34- The importance of Friendship to healing
  • 39:41- The importance of Counseling to healing
  • 41:02- Dangerous Calling: Paul David Trip (https://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Calling-Confronting-Challenges-Pastoral/dp/1433535823)
  • 43:10- How can church members encourage their leaders?
  • 43:58- Leading up- Loving on people in leadership above you, being willing to engage with them
  • 46:00- Any wisdom for congregational hurt after pastoral failure?
  • 47:32- “You can do a ton for congregational care with how a church sets up its pastors.”
  • 48:05- “If you aren’t alone at the top as a rockstar, you won’t cause as much hurt when you fail.”
  • 50:59- Importance of Confession to Healing
  • 51:40- What happens when a pastor works so hard, it creates unrealistic expectations of the staff members?
  • 53:02- Pursue clarity at all costs- When things seem ambiguous, ask a lot of questions to understand what is going on
  • 54:15- https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454
  • 55:39- “The awkward conversation can be super helpful to have before the awkward situation comes up.”
  • 57:55- Do you approach a congregation member who is causing you pain, unknowingly?
  • 1:02:20- Final Thoughts
    • Josh- One of the most important things a leader can do is become more self-aware. When we know ourselves, and how God made us, we can make better use of our strengths and weaknesses so that we can remain close to the Lord when our tender spots are pushed on.
    • Zach- A lot of ministry hurt comes from the idea that I am entitled to something, and someone else is infringing on that entitlement. Remember not to throw your pearls before swine, or share what is holy with dogs.
    • Clint- We have to do the heart work on a day to day basis so that when we are ‘stung by the bee’, we can have patience and figure out what it is that is causing us pain.